… just happens to be Noxas’ birhtday!! Happy Birthday to you…
Today…
May the Fourth be with you my young grasshopper.
Remembering…
You just lost the game.
In fact you wil loose the game every time you read this post.
For those of you who are unsure what i am talking about, i shall explain.
The Game is simple, it has mearly three rules.
1. Everyone in the world is playing The Game. You are always playing The Game. A person cannot not play The Game; it does not require consent or even awareness to play and one can never stop playing.
2. Whenever one thinks about The Game, one loses. Don’t worry, loss is only temporary, and you are wining again as soon as you forget about it.
3. Loss of the game must be anounced. This causes all others around you to aslo loose the game. It also provides an opertunity to tell new people about the game that they have been playing unawares. This third rule is the only rule that can be disobeyed, but is there any point in cheating?
No matter how hard you try, you will never have the satisfaction of knowing that you are winning, only the despair of knowing you are loosing, or the blissful unawareness which comes between th losses.
Once you die you win forever.
Have fun, and good luck.
Lest we forget.
Poor Elephant
Elephant will always loose.
Utopia is on its way
I love pedestrian crossings. I love the way that all the cars stop for me and watch me cross before them. If only the drivers would get out of their front seats and bow down upon the road before me, but still- I can’t have everything; well not yet anyway. One-day maybe, we’ll see. Things are pretty good as they are for the time being, but i have some great plans.
I intend to be a teacher when I finish studying. I shall rule my classroom with an iron rod, making and enforcing absurd classroom rules for no good reason, and giving out detentions on a mere whim. I shall have power over my students, such power as only a teacher can have. What fun those days will be.
I love the way how this post of mine has you attention.
I love the way you are still reading it.
How you as the reader are in my power and are reading all these words so far.
I love how i knew that you would read on through it all, your avid devotions to my words, so continue on my faithful slave.
Now, listen closely to my grand plans. I shall take over the world one classroom, and one blog article at a time. Soon all the peoples of this earth shall be under my thrall. I shall be doing the world such a great favor. I can not think of anything its inhabitants could possibly like better than serving me. After all, that is what i like to do in my free time, serve ME.
That time of Utopia will soon come, when drivers bowing down upon the roads will be a common sight as I pass, as people will check blogs and other websites regularly, and read every word i put upon them, and where students will not dispute the rules set down by their divine teacher, MOI!
We all wait in eagerness do we not?
A Whole Lot Of Nothing Much
Disclaimers:Few authors were harmed in the creation of this text, Fine print may result in sore eyes, Unavoidable exaggeration were unable to be avoided due to their unavoidability, The names are changed to protect the guilty from angry mobs, We bear no responsibility to your mental welfare as a result of this text, May contain traces of nuts, I cannot guarantee the existence of this webpage, we had no foresite of whatever is happening to you as you read this, Di-hydrogen-Monoxide is dangerous in large quantities, I am innocent until proven guilty – and even then i am still innocent, feel free to sue me but don’t expect to get any money, reading this will not enable you to fly – feel free to jump of a cliff anyway.
Hi, this is a blog post (just incase you couldn’t tell), and I am the author of it (incase you didn’t know that already). This isn’t my site, but i am perfectly happy to ruin it with this post. MWUHAHAHA!
Now, If you have anything you should be doing right now, then go and do it. Otherwise, read on (I dare you).
!WARNING! do not read this aloud, as it may lead to questions arising about your mental stability. (Don’t worry, i am very stably insane).
A list of things you definitely should try sometime:
- Running towards a sensor door with a trolley, see if you can crash into it before it opens.
- Flying, unassisted
- Opening door with your tongue
- writing a blog article
- giving me money
- swimming upside-down, underwater
- riding two bikes at once
- seeing which drivers would stop and which would run you over
- playing two different sports at once
- joining in the middle of a conversation
- reading only one line or two on every page of a book before you turn it
- stopping reading a blog article half way through
- Actually do what you told your mother you were doing
- mowing the lawn with a pair of nail scissors
thats all 4 now
Christmas
We have reached that festive time of year of much much shopping. This is commonly called “Christmas.” You may already know this because of the decorations that are scatered all through the cities just to remind you of this fact, incase you hadn’t worked out what time of year it is yourself.
So, what is Christmas all about? Well it is all about shopping. Lots of shopping. It is also about hats. Weird hats. Hats that no-one would be ever seen wearing in public apart from the fact that they are somehow related to Christmas. Christmas also has something to do with a very stupid fat old man who is dumb enough to wear a heavy coat and gloves in a sleigh pulled by reindeer IN THE MIDDLE OF SUMMER! Daft I says.
Another thing you may have noticed about Christmas is the how there seems to be an endless competition to waste more money than your neighbors. The way to prove how much money you have wasted is to litter the front of your house with countless useless, bright and flashy decorations. You win if your house-front hurts people’s eyes more.
One of the better aspects of this bizzare festival is the presents. Some people think that that is the main purpose of Christmas is presents. But it is not, the main purpose is advertising. Christmas is a great boost to our economy as all the big businesses use it to further their advertising campaigns, and everyone falls for it!
The final thing about Christmas is that some bloggers feel that their blogs need to have a post on the subject, and if, on the day before the 25th, there is no such post existing, they will write one up, no matter how lame, and post it. My Apologies Guys, but i had to. (All the other Authors seem to be slacking off, come on guys, we need some good posts around here!)
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE, and a happy new year!
Stuxnet- The Real Story
No doubt you haven’t read noxas14′s article “Stuxnet… A not very human virus,” but there is the slight possibility that some of you might have. If you have then you are probably thinking, “what was that…” or actually you have probably ceased thinking. Well anyway, here is the real story of Stuxnet.
As noxas14 pointed out, Stuxnet is a not very human virus (one of the few facts he got correct) which means that it isn’t a little non-living nasty that invades the bodies of living things and forces the cells of that body to replicate the virus, creating more and more and trying to take over the world, one sick person at a time. (That is what the conventional definition of a virus is, something that makes you sick and gets more and more of itself). The thing is there is also another type of virus, also non-living, which also gets more and more copies of itself, which also tries to take over the world, but this time it tries to do it one computer at a time. This virus isn’t a physical yet extremely small nasty, it is a nasty bit of computer code.
Well, now we know what a virus is we can move onto Stuxnet itself. Stuxnet is a virus of the computer variety which has been being passed around the world for the past six months, but no-one was sure what it did. It didn’t seem to do anything so they said “it must be a bit of code gone wrong, it was meant to be a virus but it’s creators made a mistake so it doesn’t work like they wanted it to.” Well they were wrong. It was just sitting there, bidding it’s time and trying to get into all the correct computers.
Now for a bit of a side track, we all know that Iran badly wants the most destructive weapons it can get its hands on, nuclear bombs (not the most destructive weapon, but the most destructive that is accessible by Iran). If you didn’t know that you do now. And if you didn’t know why they want them, well that is easy; apart from the fact that they are maniacs, they want Israel blown off the world map. They hate Israel. They hate lots of people and they have no self control, that’s why i can’t work out why on earth Russia would be helping these people obtain an incredible nasty weapon. But there you go. It was said that no-body wants a nuclear armed Iran, but obviously Russia doesn’t mind. Lots of people have nuclear weapons, but not many people who would be stupid enough to actually use them. And Iran is just that.
Well, we return to Stuxnet. What Stuxnet was doing was spreading around from computer to computer until it found some certain equipment. Some of this equipment is stuff called centrifuges made by Siemens. These particular centrifuges are used to separate two different types of uranium, one type is useful for making those nasty bombs. Guess who just ordered a whole bunch of these machines a little while ago? Yes, that’s right, raise your hands if you thought i was going to say Iran. Good, that is most of you. Well yes, it was Iran. And now they are being sabotaged by this virus. Here is an image with a chart showing where this virus is found.
Look at who has the most of the virus, what a surprise! its Iran. This virus can also do some big damage in nuclear power plants.
Well, now since we know that this virus invades nuclear power plants, especially in Iran, we need to know who is responsible for this virus. First lets ask a few questions, who would lose the most if this virus hadn’t sabotaged Iran’s stuff? Who was it that got rid of Iran’s stuff last time they had anything dangerous? Who has smart enough people to make this kind of thing? Well, although it hasn’t been proven, suspicion lies heavily on Israel.
Apparently there were bits coded in that matched up with Hebrew Esther. And another funny thing, although it was so well programmed and hard to disable it was easy to find. This is strange because you would think that if they were smart enough to make such an resilient and effective virus they would be able to hide it well, but they didn’t, it was almost as if they wanted it to be found. But why would they want that? I’ll let you sit and ponder.
Well that is all for now, i must be going to check on my illegal and secret nuclear plant in my garden to make sure it is still working and on schedule to be launching some radioactive and heavily destructive missiles at Western Australia early next year.
There is no-one worth saving that lives out there is there?
Stuxnet… A not very human virus.
Ok. Stuxnet. No clue what it is but I think it is pretty cool. Its a notsoveryhumanvirus. In fact, it will only harm you if you are a cyborg like Arnold Schwarzenegger. This is due to its computic nature, of which I just made up the word computic. But it sounds cool, so build a bridge and get over it. Anyway, apparently this virus can infiltrate Osama bin Laden’s favourite places. Like, I dunno, a nuclear power plant perhaps? Thats right people, this Stuxnet can infiltrate and destroy a whole nuclear operation! (Much to Russia’s horror). The thing is, no one knows of the Stuxnet virus’s origins. They just don’t have a clue. I do on the other hand. Here we go you are thinking. He’s gonna come up with some ridiculous conspiracy theory. You know what reader? You are correct. It is my sworn duty.
So, the conspiracy theory. I think there is a scheme being made by Chuck Norris and his spoon army for World Peace. Green Peace was no doubt involved, along with Kevin007, Julia SuckthelifeoutofAustraliaandrun and a person called Fred the Spork.That’s right people. The sporks are slowly taking over the world! Anyway, they planted this evil virus inside the system, with a man dressed as Osama bin Laden. It closed down the WHOLE system and Fred the Spork was captured along with the strange, different Osama bin Laden. (The guy needs to shave once in a while). They were captured and asked what they planned to do, to which Fred the Spork promptly replied “Raiding your ice cream stores”. Obama bin Laden decided to go along with this story and said “You have nice sheep”. Fred the Spork allegedly poked Obama bin Laden until unconscious.It is not known of their whereabouts all though everyone knows that they are in Kabul, on 52nd Terrorist Lane. A rescue party was organised to free them, but couldn’t be stuffed as they found Fred the Sporks icecream stash.
Thats todays news everybody.
Ha! He thought he'd been unseen. Unfortunately, instinct took over and he had to smile to the Ak47. Say Swiss Cheese!
The Big Bang (A “science lesson”, or better known as “a debate between Student and teacher”- the student is the voice in italics by the way, in case you couldn’t tell)
In the beginning there was nothing, then it exploded!
What exploded?
Nothing exploded.
Oh, i thought you said there was an explosion.
That’s right, there was an explosion, we call it The Big Bang.
What an imaginative name!
Yes, and that is where we get everything from, that is how it all started.
What, from that imaginitive name?
No, from the explosion that has the name
Oh. Well if everything came from it what was there before?
There was nothing before, until it exploded.
What exploded?
Nothing Exploded!
Oh, i see now, that’s why there was nothing until it exploded, because when it exploded it wasn’t there anymore.
What wasn’t there anymore?
Nothing
No, you still don’t get it, there was stuff after the great explosion.
And i still don’t get how nothing could make that big an explosion.
Don’t you mean ‘anything’ (you keep saying nothing- not very properer english).
No I mean nothing.
Well you’ve lost me.
No, you’ve lost. (smug voice)
Ahem, (confused and unsure voice) well thats enough science for now i think…
North Korea. A rising power?
Ah yes. The war between North Korea and some other creative country. I think it was South Korea. Creative naming or what? So, I have some stuff that people should know. First of all. North Korea are bullies. Bullies with big nuclear weapons. Which makes them a worry for Julia Big Nose and good ol’ Barack Obama. Recently, the American’s have actually signed an agreement with Russia, to half there nuclear stockpiled weapons by half. Of course, Russia isn’t going to do such a thing are they? After all, they have the Petroleum Gangster King a.k.a Putin. So, now we can consider North Korea a threat. A threat that will cry like a baby if it dosen’t get the candy it wants. Of course this a pity. After all. They are absolute incompetents. Incompetents with nuclear weaponry that could destroy the world 2 times over. Sobering isn’t it? Recently, as you may have seen on the news, and artillery barrage smashed down upon a small undeserved town. At first, I though it highly interesting, until I remembered that such stuff had been going on for years. I mean, hell, next thing you know, America will come in with a nuclear warhead and start yelling that time honoured war cry “piñata”. Of course, even a few miles away, you would hear the prompt “dong, crunch, clank, crush” and not necessarily in that order. A rising power? Pfft. Barely. A gnome could rise higher than them.
